While “Clear Intentions” Will Help You Through This Lockdown, Treading Water Is Also Fine
It’s very easy to get sucked in by the words on those memes about writing a novel or finding a cure for cancer during this period of isolation - especially if you’re a perfectionist like me.
After all, who doesn’t want to defy the challenge posed by this pandemic and come out the other side of it with a Nobel Peace Prize?
Personally, though, I prefer the memes that focus on simply getting through these trying times. Loser talk, perhaps, but it’s important to remember that not all of us are driven by competition or what “The Jones” are doing. For some of us, the best way to handle this type of crisis is by taking each breath carefully or treading water.
And that’s okay.
This week, I noticed several people on Twitter mention the need to grieve the loss of time caused by this pandemic, and in an article by Geoffrey Mak in The Guardian this week he concurred when he said that “Some days grief entails languishing in bed because that is surviving.”
That’s pretty much my approach — I’m taking each day at a time as we wait for the finale of this virus’s terrifying journey.
Having my son back at home has helped distract me and forced me to set clear intentions each day as I’ve watched him discover the importance of setting them himself. ADHD does not like being locked up in isolation or a lack of a routine.
His four goals the other day were to learn a new trick on his skateboard, to memorize a new song, have a bath, and edit a chapter of my manuscript that he’s sat on for at least six months, and by the end of it he had ticked off three out of the four.
And that’s okay.
He didn’t beat himself up about not being the next Jimi Hendrix. He set realistic intentions because self-awareness has taught him that the last thing he needs right now is additional firewood for his fire.
Elaine Lipworth discusses the benefits of clear intentions to combat anxiety during crises such as COVID-19 in her piece on Thrive Global here. She reiterates the importance of not “setting yourself up for failure and mentally beating up on yourself for not being able to achieve your goals,” (which is a quote from Khazan, author of Biofeedback and Mindfulness In Everyday Life).
I.e. The importance of setting up achievable goals.
Anyway, it turns out that not only is my son much happier with routines, so am I. That’s why I’ve focused on my own clear intentions this week, along with some “ideal world” ones that are closer to goals. You see, unless I keep myself distracted, I find it impossible to escape the vortex of the depressing post-mortems about every aspect of the trajectory of this virus, which exacerbates my anxiety.
These are my daily intentions at the moment:
- Daily exercise — Typically a walk or a short run.
- Pitching — Sending ideas for articles to editors
- Eating — Enjoying at least one special meal a day, or even trying out a new recipe
- Writing — Articles, my blog posts, and manuscripts
- Reading — As much as I can
- And clearing out my inbox daily
Things don’t always go to plan. Yesterday, for example, I had to forego my exercise due to a dodgy stomach that my husband believes was caused by too much Easter chocolate.
And that’s okay.
As for my “ideal world” intentions — which again, I admit are closer to goals — I am not putting any real pressure on myself to achieve them, but these are:
- Online learning — Completing a content marketing course and commencing an advanced web design course.
- Teaching myself to crochet — a skill I had hoped I’d have nailed by now and could share with the kids back at school, although I’m not certain that’s going to happen this school year!
Some of you reading my intentions will be going WTF! right now, while others — the would-be high-achievers among you — will be questioning what on earth I’m doing with my time. That’s because we’re all different, and each one of us is handling the impact of this virus the best way we can. Added to which, we are all in different situations — some of us are balancing our intentions with work and homeschooling kids, while others will be coping with mental illness episodes (triggered by the virus) and struggling to get out of bed.
As I said before, that’s okay.
But if you are that person focused on simply treading water or “surviving” — i.e. whose best intentions can only be to watch Netflix, brush your hair each day, or make it downstairs, try to still be specific in those intentions, to make them meaningful in some way, as Elaine suggests.
For example, you might try out some new healthier recipes, or try dying your hair. If you’re feeling strong enough to give a new “exercise” a go like my son, set yourself a specific goal linked to it, or if Netflix is what slows down those bad thoughts in your brain, prioritize shows that are educational as well as entertaining.
On paper, this self-imposed isolation looked like “the dream” to some of us, but the truth is, that’s not always the case. Why? Because most of us need connection.
While there’s nothing to prove at the end of this period, clear intentions will keep you focused and set you up with a healthier frame of mind to tackle what’s left of the year.
Who knows, some of us may even unleash some undiscovered creativity during this time. Although, I’m not sure mine lies with a crochet needle.