Middle Age Is About Making Important Choices
I knocked back some paid work last week. We’re not rolling in money so I’m not in a position to pick and choose the hours I want, but this time I based my choice on my health. I knew that working five days a week in three different fields would have undone all of the good from my recent holiday.
I know how lucky I am to have that option, but that’s because we have made choices about the way we live. We sold the family home and rent an apartment now, and my husband — formerly an accountant — makes sure we’re careful about what we spend. In the past, both of us have struggled with periods of stress and anxiety — which have been exacerbated by issues with a wild child son — and so we are well aware of our limitations.
I believe strongly in the importance of recognizing those when it comes to your mental health, particularly during middle age when menopause may trigger anxiety and reduce your tolerance for working with dickheads. Sometimes, when I listen to friends who constantly moan about their jobs — and who are fortunate to have options — I want to shake them and ask them exactly what they’re waiting for?
I am aware that there will be people out there — mostly self-employed — who love their work and will judge my view as narrow-minded. But I learnt about the fragility of human life from a very young age, and I’m also fortunate to be able to do some of my paid work from home.
Instead of working on those days I was asked to, I took my first dip in the ocean. It was my first swim since the end of winter, and as I lay in the water like a pig in shit, gazing up at the blue sky, I acknowledged once again how lucky I am. It was predictably icy — the water in Sydney doesn’t get much warmer than 23 degrees, so at the beginning of the season it is cold enough to question if you are crazy if you venture in. Nevertheless, it was clear, bathed in sunshine, and personally I can’t think of any better experience.
So I won’t be getting that new dining set to replace the one we’ve had for twenty years — which is now so old it has come back into fashion, much to my husband’s delight. But I did experience another of life’s precious moments, and without being maudlin, who knows how many opportunities I’ve got left to do that.